Observation is a key element in the implementation of rules for your defiant teen. Why set up limits if no one’s even looking? Parents must keep a keen eye on their children and their actions. You may not have to set up camp in your daughter’s bedroom if she dutifully rushes up to bed by 8pm sharp.

But then again, if she’s used to sneaking past the front door around 1 in the morning, then maybe that’s not such a bad idea. Your concentration of observation may all depend on your teenager and how much he/she needs to be checked on. Keep in mind that you needn’t be sneaking around to do this.

In fact, your teen should know that you’re observing her behavior. This is so as not to provoke feelings of invasion on your teenager’s part and it may even actually lead them to becoming more aware of their actions.

Now, as a parent, how can you do your observation? You needn’t hire a private detective, but by following simple tactics you can find out what you need to know. For example, after letting your son out one night with the car you can check the odometer and see if its values go along with his story. Parents can help each other out as they look out for one another’s children.

This way you can make sure that your daughter is really out with her best friend, joining their family picnic. Of course, by all means utilize the school’s guidance department and get in touch with your teen’s level representative in order to know what’s going on in school.

Whatever changes you may notice in your teen’s image may be natural expressions of his individuality. If you instantly meet these changes with disapproval, you can expect conflict to arise. If your focus is completely on what may appear to be eccentricity in their manner of dress/style, you may lose sight of other more important issues that your adolescent may be facing (like substance abuse).

Your concern and efforts should not be wasted on displays of individuality which may not be harmful to your teenager or to TRUE moral indecsancy in actuality. Instead, you should be more concerned with matters that can affect their well-being, not just appearance.

As the parent of your teenager, when you criticize him/her you can significantly affect or alter one’s self-concept. By focusing on the negative, you may wear down a teen’s otherwise healthy self-image. These types of wounds do not just disappear. Going through issues of your teenager in the past as you mention present issues, can definitely weigh him down. You are pushing him away in this manner. But keep in mind that you can also affect his self-concept in a positive way as well. Complement instead of criticize and observe the results.

Troubled teens have been known to put up fences. There may be a certain number of topics which you may experience a great deal of difficulty speaking to your teen about. What do you do if there is something you wish to speak to your teen about, but he or she doesn’t want to respond? At the time of adolescence, a teen may begin to fence up the vulnerable issues that may have an affect on his or her self-image or self-concept. These fenced up areas may be referred to as comfort zones.

If you were to talk to him or her about a certain sensitive topic, the conversation may only go so far because of the set fences that he or she has put up. But do not be discouraged. The boundaries of comfort that a teenager may feel can expand. And they can expand with your help. An important key to broadening your teenager’s comfort zones is not to shock him or her.

Even if you would like him or her to be extremely open to you about a certain topic, don’t push it. Once you notice the signs in your teen that he or she is beginning to feel uncomfortable, it would be a good idea to ease up before he or she snaps. Once your teenager feels threatened by your questions and he or she retreats into his or her own boundaries, it will be even harder to bring him or her back out. You want to make the most of your teenager’s comfort zones, while gently coaxing him or her to slowly widen the area of these zones bit by bit until you may reach the point of openness you seek.

An interesting strategy that a parent may use in order to broaden a teen’s comfort zones is to not focus on whatever issue you would like to discuss and take the time to simply have fun with your teen. Take him or her out for a simple game of basketball or a movie session, without any pressure of needing to provide answers to the questions you may be wondering about.

By simply having fun with your teen, you are giving him or her time to relax. Relaxation may give him or her a chance to let his or her guard down about sensitive issues. Once you feel that he or she may be willing to open up to you, don’t rush in to the heavy questions just yet. Instead, opt to utilize humor to keep your teenager open and the atmosphere relaxed. As an alternative to a direct question, opt to nearly graze the issue with a joke and observe closely how your teen may react. From here, you may gauge his or her comfort zones and make the appropriate actions.

Is your troubled teenager normally off in one corner of the house alone? If you can hardly connect with your teen, you ought to consider rehashing the communication line between parent and child. Don’t waste any more time.
Be aware. Make it a point to look directly at your teenager when he’s speaking with you. It shows that you are genuinely concerned when you look at him as he speaks to you, and focus on what he’s saying by temporarily putting down whatever it is you’re doing. By following this with pertinent questions, you assure your child that you are listening. On the other hand, if you want to speak with your child, keep yourself aware of the signs he’s giving off. If all of his body language is screaming “I need time alone!” then take this into consideration and leave him be. Choose a better time to approach him when he seems more open to talking with you. Assure your child. Don’t just criticize your teen’s actions but focus on his good points or skills as well. Encouragement nurtures a positive self-concept.

Your troubled teenager’s acts of defiance in school may actually be a tool he/she may be using to get the attention that he/she has been aching for. These acts of defiance may be viewed by psychologists as your teen’s way to make waves amongst a sea of adolescents. He/she wants to stand out. Of course, as a parent you must be thinking, why doesn’t he/she just stand out as the president of the school council or the head of the soccer team instead? But going against the grain on purpose has been observed as time-tested ways that young adolescents have used for years as cries for attention.

People in general tend to recognize when something is done against their will rather than with it. Try acknowledging them when you realize that they've done something right. Even if it doesn't work right away, it will still gratify a desire for that attention. Begin introducing extra cirricular activities in concordance with known interests of your child. This will give them positive attention from doing what they are good at.

If you’re looking for a way to keep your teenager away from a group of bad influence buds then some work on the side could occupy them in a positive way.

The first step is to find out what they are interested in, and the next is to pitch them the idea. The latter won't be so difficult if you carefully pursue an interest in what they do, while finding a way to get them busy. There is a commercial that says "If you love what you do for work, then you never really work a day in your life."
This process can be beneficial and might increase the interest in a college major.

This will keep your child interested in what he/she is good at, rather than what the crowd is doing.

We know why kids lie. They want to hide something, they want their freedom, they’ve got a problem, etc.

So what can we as a parent do to help our teenager break the habit of lying?

First of all don’t get angry. Shouting and making threats is likely to not only not cure the condition but rather may well make it worse. Yelling is often code to a teenager meaning ‘switch off’. My mother or father is yelling and that means it’s time to shut down. So keep calm and talk sensibly. But talk about what?

It’s no good expecting your child to listen to you if you won’t listen to him or her. One good tactic in a discussion is to be an investigator. Ask questions to discover what is happening in your teen’s life. Listen. Why are they not telling the truth? Once you get to the cause of the lying, the matter can be tackled and hopefully resolved. If the problem is resolved, there is no need to lie.

Whatever you do, get your facts straight. If you accuse your teen of lying when you are wrong, your credibility then and in the future is damaged and will need hard work to restore.